i guess it has been a while and both april and may have vanished in a blur. life continues with new challenges and continual perseverance towards that elusive rest & relaxation. my psyche now balances carefully between sanity and burn out. the long work weeks, long hours each day and the same endless environment eats away at your sanity. i think that after awhile of over work and stress one becomes so focused on day to day survival and getting the job done, everything else becomes background noise. the parties, new people, your personal interests, etc - all those normal things are pushed out the back door as the mind has become preoccupied with other things. actually everything has become numb due to the pervasive and preoccupation with what has to be done - an insurmountable task. the only remedy i can think of is to go for a break, to leave this environment, to leave behind the tasks, the endless stares, the expat life - to live a life that is familiar, to talk to people i know and know me, to see places i know, to drink a nice coffee at the local cafe reading the daily news. granted the sterile life in america chased me to this conflict ridden zone, i am now looking forward to it's embrace for a short time. i think we all need variety and change in life - to go back and forth between new things and familiar things. the new things stretch us, open our minds, challenges us while the familiar things embrace us, ease our stresses, relaxes our minds. the tensions are heating up in sudan. since the darfur rebels attacked khartoum a few weeks ago, the retaliation has been indiscriminate. and meanwhile, the oil rich zone between the north and south have started to see armed skirmishes again. i'm not sure how long until this country is back into an all out civil war against the north (or internal tribal war in the south). at times it makes me wonder what the point is, why are we here if what he construct is only going to be destroyed again. but i guess one can't think that way, instead we need to hope for the best and assist in improving the lives of those less fortunate.

there are two new additions to my life - an attempt at bringing as much normalcy as possible. a guitar and a trek 6000 - mountain bike.
following random foot paths, one can go just about anywhere.